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daeriel Active Member


Joined: Jan 21, 2010 Posts: 259
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:26 pm Post subject: [Skill Text] Pattern Weaver Revision |
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Current Pattern Weaving wrote: | You reach out with your mind to alter the pattern of the spellgem in your hand. You take the old pattern and begin to weave it, one strand at a time, into a new pattern. Once you are holding the new pattern in the gem you exert some of your own essence, passing it into the gem to lock the new pattern into place. You release your psychic grip ever-so-slowly, making sure the pattern holds as you do. Soon, you are able to relax, knowing that this gem now contains the pattern for (Spell Name) and will not change of its own accord. |
This is not only quite a lot of text to read...it's also not very pleasant, to be honest. It says "pattern" 7 times, among other issues. I propose simplifying it. Doing so would certainly make me a happier little pattern weaver!
I am not very good at creative stuff, so feel free to modify this, but my preliminary draft (working to keep the main idea of the original, just condensed) is:
Quote: | You reach out with your mind to reweave the pattern of the spellgem, one strand at a time. You exert some of your own essence, passing it into the gem, and lock the new pattern into place. The gem now contains (Spell Name), and will not change of its own accord. |
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BeefSteak Explorer


Joined: Jan 24, 2010 Posts: 91
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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Not a real fan of playing spellcasters myself, but your version of it is much more pleasing to read. +1 |
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pancakes Active Member


Joined: Jan 20, 2012 Posts: 407
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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much better, less verbose/repetitive +2 _________________ Alternative Heroes, we're the best. petep has agony curse.
<GK> I now have 3 puppies, and 3 kittens, thinking about eating them |
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corky Nexus Clash Veteran


Joined: Jan 20, 2010 Posts: 1240
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 4:36 pm Post subject: |
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But then I won't be able to poke fun at the repeated "pattern"  |
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daeriel Active Member


Joined: Jan 21, 2010 Posts: 259
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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corky wrote: | But then I won't be able to poke fun at the repeated "pattern"  |
I know! That is the main reason I hadn't suggested it yet. I do think this would be for the greater good, though... |
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Morthalius Active Member


Joined: Jan 19, 2010 Posts: 145
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Posted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 6:29 pm Post subject: |
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I fully support this, it is far too lengthy at the moment. _________________ Carl Panzram (Eternal Soldier)- Maximum Overdrive
Milamber (Conduit)- Alternative Heroes
Morthalius (Doomhowler)- Pirates of R'lyeh
Viga-Brand (Divine Herald) - Murder Inc.
Reverend Jim Jones (Lightspeaker)- Knights of Arcadia |
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BobGeneric Administrator


Joined: Nov 07, 2009 Posts: 1783
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2012 4:40 pm Post subject: |
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Promote. |
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